Friendsgiving & Friendmas kit for newcomers
Hosting or joining a holiday dinner with people you barely know? A potluck sheet that lives inside a link, 20 conversation prompts, a timeline and a printable A4. No account, nothing leaves your phone.
How to host people you barely know
You do not need a big flat or a perfect turkey. You need a clear plan and a table where everyone has something to do.
- Say the plan out loud in the inviteStart time, end time, who else is coming (first names), and that coming alone is the whole point.
- Keep it to 6–10 peopleOne table, one conversation. Bigger than that and strangers split into corners.
- Give every guest one small jobIce, playlist, plates, pouring drinks. A job gives a stranger a reason to talk to you and to each other.
- Seat strangers next to each otherCouples and old friends apart, newcomers between them. Put name cards or tape on the table if you like.
- Cook one big thing, not everythingAsk the rest to arrive with a dish, a side or a drink from the sheet. Hosts who cook everything get no time to talk.
- Open with a 20-minute drop-inA drink, nibbles and name tags (first name, plus “ask me about…”). Sit down together when most people are there.
- Use prompt cards, never forced storiesPut a few of the 20 prompts on the table. Passing is always fine, and nobody has to share anything personal.
- Plan the exit tooSay when it ends, have containers for leftovers and offer to walk to the bus or metro together. Share the address only with confirmed guests.
Joining someone's table? Five easy moves
- Claim something easyIce, bread, a big salad or a shop-bought dessert is perfectly fine. Label it and bring it in a dish you do not need back.
- Arrive in the first 30 minutesThe first half hour is when strangers are easiest to meet. Walking in late means walking into finished circles.
- Ask the host what is still missingIt gives you a first line of conversation and the host a real helper.
- Bring one questionPick one prompt from the list below and ask it to the person next to you.
- Leave on a planSay thanks to the host and, if you click with someone, name the next thing: a walk, a coffee, an event in Meet & Mint.
Potluck sign-up sheet
Fill it in, tap Copy link and drop the link in your group chat. The whole sheet lives inside the link: no server, no account. When a guest claims a dish they send back their new link, or you paste it into Merge below and the sheets combine.
Timeline
Pick your date and start time. The steps below count back from them.
Before the day
- Pick the date and cap the guest listSix to ten people. Decide the format: potluck at home, a table in a restaurant, or one empty chair for a newcomer.
- Send the inviteUse Party Pack Invites. Say start and end time and that coming alone is welcome.
- Open the potluck sheetLoad the starter list, share the link and ask each guest to claim one item.
- Confirm headcount, fill the gapsChase unclaimed items in the group chat. Ask about food allergies and any dish that needs to be vegetarian.
- Check the tableChairs, plates, cups, serving spoons, a way to keep hot food hot. Print the A4.
- Prep what keepsSides, sauces and dessert can be made today. Clear fridge space. Send the address to confirmed guests.
- The dayFollow the night timeline. Eat something small yourself so you are relaxed when the doorbell rings.
On the night
- Cook and set the tableOven on, table laid, chairs counted. Leave the last 30 minutes for you.
- Music, name tags, candlesLow music you can talk over. Name tags by the door: first name and “ask me about…”.
- Doors openGreet each person, hand them a drink and a job, introduce them to one other guest.
- Sit down togetherSay three sentences: welcome, how the food works, and that the prompt cards are optional.
- EatPass dishes to the right. Ask each guest about the dish they brought.
- Dessert and prompt roundEach person draws a prompt and answers or passes. Keep it light.
- Tea, coffee and a gameMove to the sofa. Try a Party Pack game: Icebreaker cards or Hidden Roles Night.
- Close the nightContainers for leftovers, thanks for coming, one clear next step for people who clicked.
20 conversation prompts
See all 20
- What is one small thing that made your week better?
- Where are you from, and what dish from there should be on this table?
- What is a food tradition from your childhood that outsiders find odd?
- What is the best meal you have ever had, and who was at the table?
- What do you miss most about home right now, and what do you not miss at all?
- What are you looking forward to before the year ends?
- Who taught you to cook something, and what was it?
- Which food are you sure most people secretly dislike?
- What has surprised you most about the city you live in now?
- What is a tiny ritual that makes a day feel like yours?
- Where did you spend your first holiday away from family?
- Whose cooking are you most grateful for?
- What did you learn this year that you did not expect to?
- Which song puts you in a holiday mood in two seconds?
- What is the kindest thing a stranger has done for you?
- Which place would you happily go back to tomorrow?
- What would you cook for ten people if time and money were no limit?
- What are you grateful for that you rarely say out loud?
- What is a newcomer mistake you made in this city that now makes you laugh?
- If you could add one new tradition to your holidays, what would it be?
Printable A4
One page for the fridge or the hallway: the sheet as it stands now, the night timeline and eight prompts.
Send the invite
Use Party Pack Invites for the RSVP (going, maybe, can't, calendar reminders) and this sheet for who brings what. Paste the sheet link into the invite note, and list the dishes in the “What to bring” box.
Questions
Is it okay to host if I just moved and know nobody?
Yes. Invite people who are also new: coworkers, a language café, a Meet & Mint event. A table of six people who all arrived recently is easier than a table where everyone already has friends. Say in the invite that coming alone is the point.
What if two people claim the same dish?
Each item can be claimed by one name. If you receive two versions of the sheet, use Merge: the first claim is kept and the other person sees it is taken.
Is the potluck sheet stored anywhere?
Only in the link and in your own browser. We do not run a server for it, so we cannot see your sheet or your guests' names.
Is it only for Americans?
No. Friendsgiving is a potluck dinner with friends around US Thanksgiving, but people from everywhere use the same format in Spain, the UK or Germany. Friendmas is the same idea in December without the turkey rules.